Busy few months.
I had been using an online dating app and ended up getting matched up with two different women—one with whom I had been matched up in the past, but never had the opportunity to meet. After meeting "Emma", I was pretty optimistic about exploring a relationship, even though I was still intending to move. She seemed to share my perspective on living a slower-pace in a more remote location, but it was still too early in the courtship to tell how much we had in common.
She ended up having her own demons to fight before she would be ready for a relationship, so she politely ended things before they really had a chance to start. I don’t hold any animosity and I recognize that it was probably the best decision, but I can’t help feeling disappointed.
A childhood friend suffered a brain aneurysm earlier this week. He’s on the long road to recovery, but it shook me. I considered my own mortality and health, but also the possibility of others in my life suffering similarly. The inevitability of my family growing older. I’m grateful for the time we’ve shared and I don’t really want to start preparing myself for the worst-case scenarios.
Is that wrong?
I’m similarly procrastinating when considering my impending transition from work. I have nebulous fantasies about how I’ll spend my time and support myself—my review website isn’t even built, let alone set up to generate any revenue and I haven’t even fully moved from my apartment, let alone planned for my next permanent housing. I’m excited to travel and visit friends, but ultimately, I want to settle someplace and enjoy an extended measure of peace.
